So much in my head while being completely unable to get something out of it and find where's the problem and i guess this was always my problem! i know what should i do that i must stick to the work i do the best and guess im going to do it but the thing is i may not! that's the beauty of being me!! i suppose some things never change or get fixed by time.. as it is more than a decade by now!
wow!! more than a deade i say! you're getting old! can you see it?? 
And sometimes i catch myself thinking of what im not supposed and i dont want and i dont like and i hate to think about!
And that happens when the rain is pouring and thats a pretty good reason for why pouring rains must be banned off my life!
I love my life. I love the person i am. But there's times like right now that i cant take it easy to my mind and miss the person who i was, very much. I miss the girl who used to be careless about everything.. Who used to walk while dancing and breathe like she was breathing the mars air.
I know i can act like i dont care like i dont give a damn like im careless again.. But at the end i know that its just a very shameful act!
Its like im grown up without my spirit believing it.
And that sucks.
.
.
.
Im very grateful that i still have this corner for myself. Good i didn't listen to myself and didnt erase anyth frm here . This place is a cure. And i need this cure time by time.. I should keep it in mind.
گوشه ای در انزوای خیال، با دست های زیر چانه، بی توجه به سردی افکارت، مسخ مبهمات و هیچ و پوچ هایی. در سکوت بی پرده ی اتاق، فقط تیک و تاک هشدار دهنده ی ثانیه هاست که دورت طناب شده، نکند سقوط کنی و غرق نقطه های بی انتهای ذهنت شوی.
وای به روزی که طناب پاره شود و تو غرق خیال..
وای تر به روزی که گوشت به همین تیک و تاک هم کر شود. آن وقتست که با همان طناب حلق آویزی.
+وای بر من اگر به خوابم. وای اگر خواب بمانم.
آدم ها دوست دارند که خودشان را گول بزنند و خودشان را گول میزنند و با گول زدن آدم های دیگر باز هم خودشان را به طور مضاعف گول میزنند!
+دلم که میگیرد، تمام اکسیژن های دنیا با دو تا هیدروژن، اشک میشوند و روی گونه ام جشن میگیرند!
So days go after days. Travelling too fast and does not let you feel the way you felt before. Well true, thats natural and that may be even a gift. Just imagine how wrong could it be if your feelings were not supposed to change over time. Thats what i call a total disaster! Lol anyways thank god for not letting this disaster happen.
Some people say life is beautiful. Some say life is so damn cruel.
But i say life is just life!! It can be beautiful or not can have ups and downs but its you who decides to see and make it whether enjoyable or just a place to suffer!! Then it can never make any sense blaming life and days and time for harsh moments you experience or worse, some blame other people and hate them like the reason of all the suffering they ever had in their lives! I may hate those someones!
Anywayssssss! All these spoiled explainings for just showing the world that im alive and this place is also, indeed.
I need here for expressing myself so the blood will always rush in "my world"'s veins!!!
No matter i look like this. :| or this :-) or this :-( !!!!!
Such a chain, such a pain, such a shame.. Such a change... And now: such a day :)
HOW would you feel when you see the person you have always trusted in broken??
how would you feel when the person you have never believed she would be wrong is broken?
how would you feel when dreams are broken?
i feel nothing!
not anymore. not a thing.
i don't feel down.
i just feel nothing.
Idols will always break...
